Brooklyn Is Not Expanding

In the previous post, wherein I related a couple of lovely anecdotes about how Kiernan questioned the lyrics in the songs I was singing, I mentioned that he had engaged me in a mind-blowing conversation yesterday. Below I shall present the transcript of said conversation.

But first, a little context. As many of you know, Kiernan is into the planets. He is crazy about them. He knows more facts about our Solar System than I ever learned in all of my years of school. I kind of wish that was a humorous exaggeration. It is not. He is just fascinated by the planets and wants to constantly read about them, draw them, and sing about them. He also loves asking questions about them.

Early in the evening we were reading books. He was reading a Solar System book his great aunt JuJu gave him during our recent trip to Denver. I was reading a book by the film director Kevin Smith. Eventually Kiernan realized I was doing something independently, and not paying attention to him. So he started excitedly telling me to look at the pictures in his book. I did so dutifully for awhile until I started to get frustrated. I was reading too, gosh darn it.

I finally said, "Kiernan, do I constantly ask you to look at my book?"

He said, "No. Your book is boring."

Given that my book has the word 'Boring' in its title, I found it difficult to argue this point.

And anyway, he proceeded to jump on my head at this juncture, so any argument I might have employed would have been moot. [Note to Kiernan's Aunt Amy: if you ever have an objection overruled...pounce.]

Anyway, later the two of us were eating dinner. After he had resolved the question of whether or not his daddy rocked and rolled, he ruminated for awhile and then busted out with the following query...

"Daddy, after the sun burns, what will it do after it burns?"

I think I had one of those sitcom moments where the forkful of food hangs in mid-air before your frozen open mouth.

He repeated the question. [In the dialogue that follows, 'X' is yours truly. 'K' is our intrepid Creeping Kid.]

X: "Um...after it burns, it'll go out."

K: "Will we miss the sun?"

[SIDEBAR: I cannot tell you how much I love that question. I cannot tell you how much I love the way my son thinks. The way his mind works. The answer is that the sun will go out when it's done burning, and his follow up question is about us missing The Sun. I love it.]

X: "Um...I don't know how to answer that. I guess so. But that's not gonna happen for a long time."

K: "Where will it go?"

At this point I'm scrambling. As I've intimated, at three and a half years old this kid has forgotten more about the moons of Jupiter than I have ever known about my own planet.

I answer, feebly, "It won't go anywhere. I think it will maybe turn into a black hole."

K: "What will the planets do? Why will it maybe turn into a black hole? What will the planets do if it's a black hole?"

X: "Well, the nature of a black hole is to suck everything in. Black Holes have a lot of gravity, so it will pull everything around it inside." [Forgive me, Stephen Hawking.]

K: "And after it does that, what will the planets do?"

At this point, finally, I was at a total loss. I mean, what do you say to a three and a half year old who has just asked you about the end of existence?

He waited a moment before asking his follow-up question...

"Will Jupiter get stuck?"

Do I really need a television when I have a kid like this?