Teachable Moments

Great little moment tonight that reminded me of something I've been meaning to post about for more than a year now.

Kiernan was taking his bath tonight and had just finished washing his hair. Washing his own hair, I might add. Something I didn't realize he could do on his own until his Pap-Pap--my dad--visited a couple of weeks ago. In point of fact, Kiernan didn't even realize he could do it himself until Pap-Pap's visit. It was amazing. I left them alone for a few moments in the bathroom during Kiernan's bath and by the time I returned Kiernan was washing his own hair. Basically because my dad introduced him to the concept that he could do it himself.

I'm telling you, there's nothing like the power of grandparents. Nothing.

As parents we can get so myopic. I don't mean this as a criticism. It is natural. We get used to doing things a certain way, and we keep doing them that way because when you're so close to growing life it's hard to tell when the changes are happening. It's also hard to know when it's time to break out and take a risk. Grandparents have perspective. They can see these moments and act on them in ways we cannot.

So my dad was visiting and helping with bath time and having raised two sons, and having taught years of first graders, he sensed that an opportunity for independence was upon us. So he taught Kiernan to wash his own hair. A simple, wonderful thing.

Tonight we were bathing Kiernan, and now he washes his own hair. This is still a marvel to us, and so we asked Kiernan how he learned to do this.

"Pap Pap taught me how."

Beautiful.

This reminded me of a year ago, when Kiernan left behind his diapers and adapted himself to the potty.

Now I realize that reading about potty training is not high on the reading list for of most of you folks. But I've been meaning to share this for awhile, so deal with it. A little more than a year ago we realized it was time for Kiernan to transition from diapers to using the toilet. Only we were about to embark upon a three week trip to Arizona, Alabama, and Virginia. The idea of negotiating the scary territory of potty training while on the road, and in the air, was really too much to handle. So we decided to hold off on formal potty training until after the trip. We agreed on this, and that was that.

The Grandmothers had other ideas. And they didn't even have to communicate these ideas. It was all telepathic.

First we were in Arizona, and Wendy's mom, Kiernan's Gammy, took it upon herself to whisk Kiernan off to the potty at any moment's notice. It was really superhuman. I can think of few other words to describe it. For the entire visit, whenever Kiernan looked the least bit interested in situations scatalogical, Gammy would rush him to the bathroom, set him up on the mini-potty, and read and encourage him for as long as it took. This was really the foundation.

We moved on to Alabama, where we continued this somewhat, but not as enthusiastically as Gammy had.

Next we moved on to Virginia, and it was in Virginia that the deal was sealed. We were at Dad and Sandi's house, and Sandi was somehow in on the Telepathic Grandma Link with Gammy, because as soon as Sandi found out what Gammy had been up to, she sprang into action. She did the whole "whisking away" thing that Gammy had done, but then she did one better. She busted out the Big Boy Underpants.

Whatever else you do in life, never underestimate the power of the Big Boy Underpants. Or, if gender merits, Big Girl Underpants.

Sandi showed up one day with a veritable stack of underwear for Kiernan to try on, and just like that he showed he was ready to make the leap from diapers to the potty. Getting to wear underwear--underwear like his ultra-cool Uncle Mason had worn!--in place of his diaper motivated him to adapt to using the toilet. It didn't matter that we were in the middle of a three week trip. It didn't matter that I was all worried about the logistics of the transition while on a trip. He was ready, and his grandparents intuited this. They encouraged him and praised him and helped him along. It was amazing. Because of them, adapting to using the potty was much, much easier for all three of us.

Anyway, I've been meaning to give Gammy and Sandi props for this for more than a year. Tonight's bathtime pronouncement by Kiernan, that Pap-Pap taught him how to wash his own hair, reminded me of this. So...all hail Grandparents.


Pictures:

1. The top picture is Sandi and Kiernan discussing life on the beach during our November visit.

2. The next picture, from the same visit, is Pap-Pap pointing at a polliwog. Actually, I have no idea if that is what my dad is pointing at. I just like the alliteration.

3. Next is a picture from a visit to Arizona last winter. Gammy and Kiernan are learning about varieties of cactus while out on a walk in Gammy and Grance's neighborhood. By the end of that trip Kiernan would be able to identify more cacti than I would have thought possible, both because I didn't know that many different cacti existed and because I wouldn't have believed a three year old could remember that many complicated names. All of this would come to seem quaint in a couple months when Kiernan started reading off the names of the moons of Uranus.

4. A final picture from the November trip to Virginia. Kiernan is out at on the pier with Sandi and Pap-Pap and his friend Helen (daughter of my friends Jeff and Kathryn).