Teachable Moments

Great little moment tonight that reminded me of something I've been meaning to post about for more than a year now.

Kiernan was taking his bath tonight and had just finished washing his hair. Washing his own hair, I might add. Something I didn't realize he could do on his own until his Pap-Pap--my dad--visited a couple of weeks ago. In point of fact, Kiernan didn't even realize he could do it himself until Pap-Pap's visit. It was amazing. I left them alone for a few moments in the bathroom during Kiernan's bath and by the time I returned Kiernan was washing his own hair. Basically because my dad introduced him to the concept that he could do it himself.

I'm telling you, there's nothing like the power of grandparents. Nothing.

As parents we can get so myopic. I don't mean this as a criticism. It is natural. We get used to doing things a certain way, and we keep doing them that way because when you're so close to growing life it's hard to tell when the changes are happening. It's also hard to know when it's time to break out and take a risk. Grandparents have perspective. They can see these moments and act on them in ways we cannot.

So my dad was visiting and helping with bath time and having raised two sons, and having taught years of first graders, he sensed that an opportunity for independence was upon us. So he taught Kiernan to wash his own hair. A simple, wonderful thing.

Tonight we were bathing Kiernan, and now he washes his own hair. This is still a marvel to us, and so we asked Kiernan how he learned to do this.

"Pap Pap taught me how."

Beautiful.

This reminded me of a year ago, when Kiernan left behind his diapers and adapted himself to the potty.

Now I realize that reading about potty training is not high on the reading list for of most of you folks. But I've been meaning to share this for awhile, so deal with it. A little more than a year ago we realized it was time for Kiernan to transition from diapers to using the toilet. Only we were about to embark upon a three week trip to Arizona, Alabama, and Virginia. The idea of negotiating the scary territory of potty training while on the road, and in the air, was really too much to handle. So we decided to hold off on formal potty training until after the trip. We agreed on this, and that was that.

The Grandmothers had other ideas. And they didn't even have to communicate these ideas. It was all telepathic.

First we were in Arizona, and Wendy's mom, Kiernan's Gammy, took it upon herself to whisk Kiernan off to the potty at any moment's notice. It was really superhuman. I can think of few other words to describe it. For the entire visit, whenever Kiernan looked the least bit interested in situations scatalogical, Gammy would rush him to the bathroom, set him up on the mini-potty, and read and encourage him for as long as it took. This was really the foundation.

We moved on to Alabama, where we continued this somewhat, but not as enthusiastically as Gammy had.

Next we moved on to Virginia, and it was in Virginia that the deal was sealed. We were at Dad and Sandi's house, and Sandi was somehow in on the Telepathic Grandma Link with Gammy, because as soon as Sandi found out what Gammy had been up to, she sprang into action. She did the whole "whisking away" thing that Gammy had done, but then she did one better. She busted out the Big Boy Underpants.

Whatever else you do in life, never underestimate the power of the Big Boy Underpants. Or, if gender merits, Big Girl Underpants.

Sandi showed up one day with a veritable stack of underwear for Kiernan to try on, and just like that he showed he was ready to make the leap from diapers to the potty. Getting to wear underwear--underwear like his ultra-cool Uncle Mason had worn!--in place of his diaper motivated him to adapt to using the toilet. It didn't matter that we were in the middle of a three week trip. It didn't matter that I was all worried about the logistics of the transition while on a trip. He was ready, and his grandparents intuited this. They encouraged him and praised him and helped him along. It was amazing. Because of them, adapting to using the potty was much, much easier for all three of us.

Anyway, I've been meaning to give Gammy and Sandi props for this for more than a year. Tonight's bathtime pronouncement by Kiernan, that Pap-Pap taught him how to wash his own hair, reminded me of this. So...all hail Grandparents.


Pictures:

1. The top picture is Sandi and Kiernan discussing life on the beach during our November visit.

2. The next picture, from the same visit, is Pap-Pap pointing at a polliwog. Actually, I have no idea if that is what my dad is pointing at. I just like the alliteration.

3. Next is a picture from a visit to Arizona last winter. Gammy and Kiernan are learning about varieties of cactus while out on a walk in Gammy and Grance's neighborhood. By the end of that trip Kiernan would be able to identify more cacti than I would have thought possible, both because I didn't know that many different cacti existed and because I wouldn't have believed a three year old could remember that many complicated names. All of this would come to seem quaint in a couple months when Kiernan started reading off the names of the moons of Uranus.

4. A final picture from the November trip to Virginia. Kiernan is out at on the pier with Sandi and Pap-Pap and his friend Helen (daughter of my friends Jeff and Kathryn).

Beachy Keen

I have no idea why I've decided to start this post with this picture, or why I'm posting it to TCK at all. I can't really explain it, other than to say that the moment I saw it it made me feel good. I'm going through all of the pictures from the recent trip to Virginia, deciding what to post and what to print out for inclusion in cards to Grandparents and Great Grandparents and others. I also need to isolate a few photos that Jeff has requested. As I did this the above picture popped up and made me happy. I don't really know why. It's a fairly pedestrian shot of me standing on the beach with one of my best friends and my brother as my stepmom Sandi looks on. But it pleases me. So here it is.

As indicated in my last post, we were on a recent trip to Virginia, a trip that was more or less a surprise. I'll go into some of the details at some point, possibly, but the picture above shows me the first full day in Virginia. I flew into the airport in Newport News with Wendy, Kiernan, and my dad. We got in and had a delightful crockpot meal that Sandi had waiting, and eventually got to bed. My brother Mason was supposed to show up with several of his friends sometime during the night, and apparently ended up arriving at around six in the morning. He and his friends pitched Mason's tent on the front lawn and crashed there.

I slept in, which is one nice part of bringing your child to visit his grandparents. I was awakened by another surprise: my very good friend Jeff's face. That's him standing next to me in the picture. The one without the headband, "Stop the War" button, and tie-dyed pants. He crawled up next to me on top of the bed and said, "Good morning!" Or something. The mixture of groggy and surprise has prevented me from remembering exactly what he said. Suffice to say, it was delightful to see him, and I was happy that I'd remembered to pack pajamas.

We ended up spending a good part of the day with Jeff and Kathryn, who have been friends for a delightfully long time, and their amazing daughter Helen. I'll include more pics of all of us later. For now, just a couple more beach pictures:


The original plan was for Jeff and Kathryn to spend the day with us kicking around Williamsburg. We all met and went to school and lived together there, so whenever we can we like to spend some time there together. Once again, pictures of said adventure will follow, but first you must partake in Jeff and Christien's hunt for the missing squid (pictured above, and below). The beach in question is just down the way from my dad and Sandi's house, located on the York River. Dad and Sandi have a bunch of beach toys at the ready, and included in these toys are a couple of plastic squid creatures. As we packed up the toys, Jeff and I became convinced that the green squid was missing. Nobody else believed in the green squid, but we would not let it go. We were sure it had been covered with sand.


We never found the squid, sadly. And nobody really cared except for us. So these pictures are really useless, except that I love the scene. I'm about to turn forty, and before spending a day in Williamsburg here I am digging in the sand in November with one of my best friends from college.

These are the things that make me smile.

Oh, and don't worry. The ensuing posts about the trip will definitely feature pictures of Kiernan.

Matters

We are in Virginia this week, visiting family. Right now we are at my mom and stepdad's house in Seaford, having spent the first part of the week with my dad and my stepmom, Sandi. I'll work on those pictures later, but I wanted to get up a quick picture of Kiernan with his Nana, right now. The above photograph is from last night, the final book before bedtime. This particular book is an informational volume about kittens, a book that probably belonged to my sister Hope. During this visit Kiernan is really into reading Hope's childhood books. It's always cool to see him get excited about books that are new to him, and doubly cool to see how keen he is to read something that specifically belonged to his aunt. But I have to say...Good Lord these old books are crappy! Not all of them to be sure. Hope's childhood favorite (and one of mine), The Monster at the End of This Book, still rocks the house. If Kiernan uncovers The Pokey Little Puppy I'm sure I'll be pleased. But so many of the new books we read to Kiernan are just so much better. Tonight Kiernan found this book called I Am A Boy. This one was apparently one of my old books. Holy cow. Just awful. And the kids in the illustrations look like a bunch of ventriloquist dummies. It's really kind of creepy.

I guess Mo Willems has spoiled me.

At any rate, I happy we are here at this time. It's always good to have some time with my folks, and it's especially good for Kiernan to get to spend time with them. He's loving the opportunity to goof around with his Nana. This evening before bed they basically had a kind of hugging competition. Great stuff.

These moments of joy, however, are taking place in the midst of sadness. My stepfather, John, is away with our family in Texas during this visit. His father, Kiernan's Great-Grandfather Dunn, passed away today after suffering a heart-attack two days ago. He was a wonderful man; one need only look at the way his son has turned out to see that. I ask that you keep my stepfather and his mother and his sisters (as well as my mother and sister) in your thoughts and prayers at this time.

Also--and this should go without saying but I'm going to say it anyway--don't wait until the holidays to let those you love know what they mean to you.

Hang in there, Dad.