Echo echo echo

On Thursday Kiernan had his second follow-up with his pediatric cardiologist, Dr. Ferry. You may recall that his last visit--two weeks after his surgery--went very well. Kiernan was given an EKG and the amount of oxygen saturation in his blood was measured. Both of those tests turned out fine. He looked and sounded so good, in fact, that the doctor told us to stop giving him the medications we'd been giving him since the operation. This second follow-up, a few weeks later, was a bit more extensive as it involved him getting an echocardiogram.

An echocardiogram is a test in which ultrasound is used to examine the heart. Basically, if you've ever been pregnant, or been to a doctor's appointment with a woman who was pregnant, or watched "Friends" when Rachel was pregnant, it's similar to the test the doctor uses to show the baby's heartbeat in the womb. Actually, it's a more like the extensive ultrasound that shows whether the baby in the womb has a fully developed spinal cord, a four-chambered heart, the correct amount of toes, etc. The one where the expectant mother has to lie there on the examination table with a full bladder for what seems like forever while the radiologist gets all the pictures she needs. Except in this case the patient is an extremely squirmy almost eleven-month-old who NEVER likes to be on his back, much less be still for twenty minutes at a time. Fun.

This kind of situation is where our policy of not parking Kiernan in front of the television set every day really pays off. Wendy and I have been loathe to let the little guy watch tv, so it's still a novelty. We've got all those genius baby videos on dvd somewhere around here, but because recent studies have linked television watching in infants to ADHD we don't use them. Not yet. Actually, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended in 1998 that kids under two years old should not watch television...at all. At first we were totally paranoid about this, treating the television as if it were some kind of virus dispersal device that would infect Kiernan if he even glanced at it. We'd put him in his bouncy seat facing us while we watched during dinner, or go through all kinds of contortions while holding him so he couldn't see it, or try watching from another room using a dental mirror. We've calmed down a little now, but still don't put on programs for him to watch. Aside from catching bits of the news that I have on during the day while I'm chasing him around the house, and watching his cousin Jay flip channels when Jay visited with his family, Kiernan really hasn't watched television at all.

Except, ironically enough, at the doctor's office.

The technician doing the echocardiogram is clearly used to having to keep kids entertained for extended periods of time. Her little office is tricked out with all kinds of baby friendly enhancements. A big fish hangs from the ceiling (it's not a real fish...don't worry) and she has a lamp with a rotating shade that throws colors and shapes on the walls. Best of all, however, is her VCR and television. We got there, took off Kiernan's shirt, and put him on the exam bed. She popped in a "Baby Einstein" video. And that was pretty much it. He was mesmerized. Wide-eyed and gape-mouthed. He tried to get up a couple of times during the echo, but Wendy just held onto him and redirected his attention to the tv and he was fine.

This video tranquilization always disturbs me. I know it is necessary because he has to stay still for the test, and I'd rather this be accomplished by television than by medication, but I just find the quickness with which a video sedates him to be disturbing. There's something wrong about it, something scary. Like he's being reprogrammed or something.

I'm sure if I had another kid or two I would change my mind about this pretty quick. I honestly don't know how single parents and parents of multiple little ones do it. How they can get anything done in a day is astounding to me. I suppose that's where television comes in. It is kind of disappointing not to be able to use the television as a babysitter as I assumed I'd be able to do going in to this thing, but oh well. I guess I can wait for that until he's two. I hope he enjoys all the personal attention and reading and stuff in the meantime, because once we get to November 29, 2006, that's it. The teevee is taking over.

Anyway, after the echo was complete, we went into another examination room to await the nurse. She came in and weighed Kiernan and measured him. He's 20 lbs. 10 oz. now, so he's back to gaining weight. They have a weird way of measuring him, however, that never seems to show much growth. The nurse has us lie him on the exam table and then marks the runner of paper under him with a pen up at his head and down at his feet. She measures the distance between the marks because that's easier than trying to measure his body, but the measurement always seems to be 29 inches. As long as I can remember going to this doctor Kiernan has been some length around 29 inches. I know Kiernan is getting taller by the simple fact that he's starting to hit his head on things he could cruise under previously, so I'm not worried. I'm just annoyed that nobody can seem to measure him properly. We liked this method of measurement at first. It was a welcome change from the enormous board Kiernan's pediatrician uses and with which he whacked Kiernan in the head during one of his early visits. I wish we had more choices than inaccuracy or concussion, but that seems to be all that's on the table at present.

After the nurse left, Dr. Ferry came in to listen to Kiernan's heart. He brought with him another doctor from UCLA, presumably an intern or resident or Padawan or something, and that guy listened too. Both of them were very happy with how Kiernan's heart sounded, then they went off to watch a tape of the echocardiogram and they were pleased with that as well. This means we'll be seeing Dr. Ferry less frequently, which is sad because the guy is the best doctor in the world, but good because it means Kiernan is better. Our next appointment is three months away, and after that, assuming all is still going well, Kiernan will see him once or twice a year.

Of course, after he turns two the television will have to deal with things like that, making doctor's appointments and whatnot. Since it's hooked up to a TiVo, though, I am at peace that this will go smoothly. The TiVo really is an amazing piece of equipment. I have every confidence that it will assist our tv in raising a well-adjusted, healthy member of society. All while recording my Duke games and Wendy's assorted Lifetime Originals.

What a wonderful world.